Jesse Joseph Griffith BIRTH STORY

Let me just start by saying that I am a detailed person, so this is going to be a very extensive & long version of my birth story with nearly every detail added. I’m not very good at the whole “long story short” thing. Please remember as you’re reading along that this is THE most vulnerable thing I’ve probably ever posted, & I’m not asking for criticism or advice. Please refrain from commenting any advice or criticism about my birth story. Just sharing my story. As challenging as it was, I know God planned it exactly this way for a reason. I want to remember all these little details so they are all in here! Here is the story of how our son, Jesse Joseph Griffith, entered our lives!

On Saturday, June 24th I went to bed feeling some light cramping & wondered if I was potentially feeling some early labor contractions or maybe the start of them, but they were so mild I was able to sleep through them & I tried to just ignore them the best I could. I woke up on Sunday June 25th around 7am unable to sleep anymore because of the cramping. They started to come in phases much like contractions were described to me so I had a feeling this was the beginning of my labor journey. I was 38 weeks & 3 days pregnant. The entire pregnancy I’d had an extremely strong feeling that he would be born before his due date, about 2 weeks early. I just knew he would be here sooner than my EDD of July 6th. Anyways, I was timing the cramps/contractions but wasn’t sure what was going on for sure. I spent my pregnancy educating myself & preparing for labor as much as I possibly could, but you really never know until you’re in it, & this was my first baby. The pain was picking up, the pain was getting more into a pattern, & I had a feeling this had to be contractions. They were about 10 minutes apart or so, & I called my friend who is an L&D nurse where I would be giving birth. She decided to come over around noon & monitor me to help me understand if I was in early labor & what I should do next. I had a strong preference to not get to the hospital too early & have to be sent home because I wasn’t in true labor. My desire for my son’s birth was to labor at home until I was able to track contractions that were 5 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute long, for an entire hour or so- then I wanted to go into the hospital, be admitted, & get an epidural. 

I wanted to “feel” labor, but I didn’t feel called to go all natural or push through the pain for a very long time. I was very confident & content with getting the epidural. I did not have any cervical checks during my pregnancy so at this point in time I did not know how dilated or effaced I was, & I knew when I went in I would get my first check. To be admitted I knew I would have to be checked, monitored for an hour, & checked again to ensure I was dilating & in true labor. I did not want to have to go through 2 checks & an hour of being hooked up to monitors while already in a ton of pain just to be sent home. So I really wanted to be sure before heading in. At this point I never saw that I had lost my mucus plug & this was the first time I’d felt contractions like this. In the 2 hours my friend was monitoring me & helping me understand my contractions, I had my “bloody show” & this was a huge sign that these contractions were in fact causing me to dilate & that something might be happening soon. We decided I would continue to drink a lot of water, time the contractions, & labor at home for a few more hours to ensure this was true labor. As soon as my friend left, the contractions nearly stopped. I was very frustrated & disappointed. I wanted to meet my baby, I was so uncomfortable at this point of pregnancy, & the mental toll of wondering when I was going to go through the most insane moments of my life was wearing on me. It felt like such a tease! Even still, I trusted that God had a plan for when this baby would be born so I tuned into that & tried to just go about my day. I bounced on the ball & tried to get ahead on work things. I was still tracking any contractions but they were super random & all over the place. 

By around 7pm contractions were slowly picking back up & I decided to go for a walk to do some curb walking & get the baby in optimal positioning. I think I did the miles circuit but I honestly can’t remember… It was around 10 pm now & there was no way I was going to be able to go to sleep. These were definitely labor contractions & I had to focus to get through them. Laying over the ball on hands & knees, squeezing a comb, squeezing Jacob’s hand, & Jacob lifting my belly were all things that were helping relieve some pain or get me through each wave. Around midnight we decided it was time to go to the hospital. The contractions had been 3-5 minutes apart for over an hour, lasting a minute long, & I was in the most pain I’ve ever been in before. I had to be dilating….so we packed up our bags & made the 15 minute drive to the hospital. I was truly terrified. I felt so scared to get a cervical check for the first time & scared that this was really happening. I was scared they would turn me away & tell me I was not dilating so I should go home & tough it out for longer. I was sobbing crying the whole way from the car to the room. Unfortunately… the nurse assigned to me didn’t seem to have much empathy for how I was feeling & the way she looked at me screamed “you’re definitely a wimp & you’re not being admitted tonight”. She checked me & I was 1 cm dilated… I felt like a complete failure. I was in the most pain I’ve ever felt & I was only a 1?! Hearing this made me feel like there was no way I could get through birth & that I was weak for only making it this far yet feeling so much pain. If you’ve given birth you know that fear makes labor slower & longer… so these feelings really held me back. 

I was monitored for an hour & it felt like hell. The monitors kept slipping all over, I was so uncomfortable, I couldn’t move the way I could at home, & I just wanted to scream. The hour finally passed & the second check revealed I was 1.5 cm dilated. I was very angry. The nurse didn’t skip a beat & told me I should go home & take a warm bath; this would either make my contractions ramp up like crazy or stop them enough to allow me to sleep. She felt I would be back in the next few days to have the baby, but I wouldn’t be admitted that night. I was furious. I felt so upset with myself & this process, I just wanted to go back in time where I wasn’t wishing for labor to start. Why in the world did I want this?! My mind was not in a good place. My labor plan to tell myself all these beautiful birth affirmations was not happening & I did not prepare the way I should have.  Anyways, we went home & I got in the bath & it was like something in my body switched. The pain intensified to an astronomical level & I truly cannot put into words how much misery I was in. You could say the bath definitely had the effect of speeding things up. Contractions picked up VERY fast & now the ONLY thing that was getting me through them was screaming at the top of my lungs. Thankfully I never resorted to screaming AT my husband, but I was begging for him to help me & make the pain go away. Unfortunately I did not utilize my birth affirmations at this point & I was so focused on the pain because I couldn’t see past it. I truly had no idea how I was going to keep going & I wished I could quit. I wanted so badly for this pain to go away. Contractions were lasting 1.5-2 minutes long & I was only getting 30-60 seconds in between them. They were ramping up like crazy…

I was bleeding from the cervical check, screaming like crazy, & my poor husband could do nothing but time the contractions & encourage me. I think he witnessed a real life horror film that night hahah. He was definitely getting concerned as I was going like this for about 2 hours at this point, but I was SO nervous to go back to the hospital & be sent home again, that I did not want to go in. Plus the thought of getting in a car & going through these contractions just seemed unbearable. My husband felt it was time to go back into the hospital (it was now around 3 am I think) & he called Labor & Delivery. They could hear me in the background screaming & told him to bring me back in. Now we are at about 4 am, the morning of June 26th. I couldn’t hold my screams in & I looked like the typical pregnant woman you’d see in the movies, being wheeled into the delivery room kicking & screaming. It really was the ONLY thing bringing me any kind of relief, as wild as that sounds. I was very nervous to have a nurse that wasn’t empathetic towards me again & that I wouldn’t be allowed to scream through my contractions, but at this point a cervical check was going to be nothing compared to this pain. This is where everything changed again… 

I got to Labor & Delivery & the ENTIRE vibe was different. God absolutely BLESSED ME with angels for nurses. My main nurse grabbed my face with both of her hands, looked me in my eyes & told me “TAYLOR, YOU ARE SO STRONG, YOU CAN DO THIS.” This was what I needed. (My husband was telling me these things the whole time of course too!) I apologized for screaming but told them it was the only thing helping me, & they HYPED ME UP. They told me I could do whatever I needed to get through it & they were cheering me on. I could not get to the point of putting a gown on & they didn’t even care, they told me the second I could take a break they would check me. Finally I was able to lay down & get checked. The nurse looked at me & I will NEVER forget this moment… She said, “oh my gosh… Taylor…” & she took what felt like the longest pause. I knew what she was going to say. She was going to tell me I was at a 2 & I still couldn’t be admitted. But I was wrong. She said, “YOU DID IT. YOU ARE 7 CM DILATED. THIS BABY IS COMING” I sobbed tears of joy & felt the most confident, powerful, & incredible i’d ever felt in my life. I could NOT believe it. I really did that. I labored ON MY OWN all the way to a 7 when I planned to labor a little as possible on my own & get an epidural as soon as possible, but I freaking did that. I savored that moment for all of 1 minute until I almost screamed, “wait, I can still get the epidural right?!” & she told me they were already on their way. 

I felt like I could do anything at this point. Have a baby- totally. Save the world? Yeah probably that too. Nothing was stopping me at this point. It took 3 tries to get an IV in because my veins kept blowing & I had to get blood drawn multiple times but like I said, I just labored to a 7 so this was a piece of cake now. I got my epidural & felt maybe 2 more contractions until I was finally able to breathe & relax. I was so happy & proud of myself for getting to this point, & now it was time to shift my mind into understanding that I was really close to finally MEETING MY BABY…!!!! Jacob called my parents who had their go-bags ready & my sister who was 2 hours away. My sister was coming to document the birth for me so she got in the car at 4 am to head my way. I got a new set of nurses because they were changing shifts and the next set of nurses were just as incredible. I felt SO confident going into this with such an amazing team of people by my side. I had another check and I was now at an 8. I had to change positions and get some extra oxygen from a mask because the baby wasn’t loving me laying on my left side, but when we tried hands and knees he was doing just fine. The on call doctor (not my regular doctor) came in and checked me and I was at a 9. They told me she might break my water at this time too. I asked her if she was going to do this and she told me she had already done it. My sister and husband both laughed because they definitely knew my water broke but I had no idea. 

The doctor went home and I just had one more cm to go before it was time to push. The next doctor on call ended up being busy in a surgery so the doctor who broke my water ended up coming right back because only 30 minutes or so later I was completely dilated and ready. We ended up beginning pushing before the doctor got there and it was game on. After 1 push, the nurse said “wow he really has a lot of hair!!” I was SHOCKED. I had barely had any heartburn during pregnancy so I wasn’t expecting that but I was really hoping he’d have a lot of it! One more push with the nurse and then the doctor arrived. I pushed I think 3 more times and then at 8:11 am my whole life changed for the better, Jesse was HERE!!!! I pushed for a total of 30 minutes and depending on when you start the clock, labored about 10 hours total. So many people told me I’d go past my due date and have an extremely long labor- and I ended up pushing for just 30 minutes with a relatively fast labor 2 weeks early. What a wild experience! Jacob cut the cord and the rest is history. We did skin to skin for at least an hour, he latched right away when we tried nursing for the first time, and I have no idea how I ever lived without him in my life now. 

I have never been more proud of myself after going through pregnancy and birth. I feel stronger than ever before and closer to Christ for having gone through that. I will forever look at every mother differently knowing what we go through to bring life into the world.